How does one deal with one’s peculiarities?


For instance, suppose that you are talking to someone who has just hijacked the conversation and has been explaining for the past hour about how his wife, his colleagues, the shopkeeper and the rest of the world are conspiring against him. Even as he is inculpating half a dozen of your common acquaintances, you see him take shape as one of the non-entities in the book that you might write. You strive to listen to him and make the appropriate sounds but all you see is his first scene, with him telling his friends in a passionate voice that his brother, who is an overbearing ass and who stole his girl (and who is incidentally your hero), had just fired him because he couldn’t type fast enough. You see how his shifty eyes never waver when he feels righteous or when he talks about his brother. You debate between the choices of adjectives and sentences spring to your head. You craft him carefully, highlighting his essential weakness but without creating in him an antithesis of your hero, giving them both straight noses, stubborn chins…

Unfortunately, the number of non-entities in my books seems to be inordinately high. How DO you deal with this?

…when you memorize her IP number to skip DNS overhead.

dunno Why I love this geeky quote very much ! Beats me every time I read it

30 days to GRE:


“A month to GRE! Ah, only fifty word lists. I can do much more than two per day! Gonna finish them all and spend the last week only in revising. The last weekend alone ought to do for Quants.”

15 days to GRE:


“I DON’T wanna work! I MUST start preparing soon. The most-frequent-words list alone might be good enough.”

10 days to GRE:


“Alright, suppose I do five word lists a day and spend the last day on Quants… She says nobody can get below 1200. Hmmm…”

7 days to GRE:


“God damn these cycle tests. Forty more to go. Okay, I’ll mug the blasted words till 9, study for CT till 12, get up at 5.15… Never mind. I’ll play AOE and postpone GRE. By an year.”

There’s something very funny about paying a clueless twenty year old so much money. At least, my father says so.

Most of you might have read this.

Below is a Inaugural Speech for the new batch at the Symbiosis BBA program, Pune delivered by Chetan Bhagath.

“””””

Good Morning everyone and thank you for giving me this chance to speak


to you. This day is about you. You, who have come to this college,


leaving the comfort of your homes (or in some cases discomfort), to


become something in your life. I am sure you are excited. There are few


days in human life when one is truly elated.  The first day in college


is one of them.  When you were getting ready today, you felt a tingling


in your stomach. What would the auditorium be like, what would the


teachers be like, who are my new classmates - there is so much to be


curious about. I call this excitement, the spark within you that makes


you feel truly alive today. Today I am going to talk about keeping the


spark shining. Or to put it another way, how to be happy most, if not


all the time.

Where do these sparks start? I think we are born with them. My 3-year


old twin boys have a million sparks. A little Spiderman toy can make


them jump on the bed. They get thrills from creaky swings in the park. A


story from daddy gets them excited. They do a daily countdown for


birthday party several months in advance just for the day they will cut


their own birthday cake.

I see students like you, and I still see some sparks. But when I see


older people, the spark is difficult to find. That means as we age, the


spark fades. People whose spark has faded too much are dull, dejected,


aimless and bitter. Remember Kareena in the first half of Jab We Met vs


the second half? That is what happens when the spark is lost.   So how


to save the spark?

Imagine the spark to be a lamp’s flame. The first aspect is nurturing -


to give your spark the fuel, continuously. The second is to guard


against storms.

To nurture, always have goals. It is human nature to strive, improve


and achieve full potential. In fact, that is success. It is what is


possible for you. It isn’t any external measure - a certain cost to


company pay package, a particular car or house.

Most of us are from middle class families. To us, having material


landmarks is success and rightly so. When you have grown up where money


constraints force everyday choices, financial freedom is a big


achievement. But it isn’t the purpose of life. If that was the case, Mr.


Ambani would not show up for work. Shah Rukh Khan would stay at home and


not dance anymore. Steve Jobs won’t be working hard to make a better


iPhone, as he sold Pixar for billions of dollars already. Why do they do


it? What makes them come to work everyday? They do it because it makes


them happy. They do it because it makes them feel alive. Just getting


better from current levels feels good. If you study hard, you can


improve your rank. If you make an effort to interact with people, you


will do better in interviews. If you practice, your cricket will get


better. You may also know that you cannot become Tendulkar, yet. But you


can get to the next level. Striving for that next level is important.

Nature designed with a random set of genes and circumstances in which


we were born. To be happy, we have to accept it and make the most of


nature’s design. Are you? Goals will help you do that.

I must add, don’t just have career or academic goals. Set goals to give


you a balanced, successful life. I use the word balanced before


successful. Balanced means ensuring your health, relationships, mental


peace are all in good order.

There is no point of getting a promotion on the day of your breakup.


There is no fun in driving a car if your back hurts. Shopping is not


enjoyable if your mind is full of tensions.

You must have read some quotes - Life is a tough race, it is a marathon


or whatever. No, from what I have seen so far, life is one of those


races in nursery school, where you have to run with a marble in a spoon


kept in your mouth. If the marble falls, there is no point coming first.


Same with life, where health and relationships are the marble. Your


striving is only worth it if there is harmony in your life. Else, you


may achieve the success, but this spark, this feeling of being excited


and alive, will start to die.

One last thing about nurturing the spark - don’t take life seriously.


One of my yoga teachers used to make students laugh during classes. One


student asked him if these jokes would take away something from the yoga


practice. The teacher said - don’t be serious, be sincere. This quote


has defined my work ever since. Whether its my writing, my job, my


relationships or any of my goals. I get thousands of opinions on my


writing everyday. There is heaps of praise, there is intense criticism.


If I take it all seriously, how will I write? Or rather, how will I


live? Life is not to be taken seriously, as we are really temporary


here. We are like a pre-paid card with limited validity. If we are


lucky, we may last another 50 years. And 50 years is just 2,500


weekends. Do we really need to get so worked up? It’s ok, bunk a few


classes, goof up a few interviews, fall in love. We are people, not


programmed devices.

I’ve told you three things - reasonable goals, balance and not taking


it too seriously that will nurture the spark. However, there are four


storms in life that will threaten to completely put out the flame. These


must be guarded against. These are disappointment, frustration,


unfairness and loneliness of purpose.

Disappointment will come when your effort does not give you the


expected return. If things don’t go as planned or if you face failure.


Failure is extremely difficult to handle, but those that do come out


stronger. What did this failure teach me? is the question you will need


to ask. You will feel miserable. You will want to quit, like I wanted to


when nine publishers rejected my first book. Some IITians kill


themselves over low grades how silly is that? But that is how much


failure can hurt you. But it’s life. If challenges could always be


overcome, they would cease to be a challenge. And remember - if you are


failing at something, that means you are at your limit or potential. And


that’s where you want to be.

Disappointment’s cousin is  frustration, the second storm.  Have you


ever been frustrated? It happens when things are stuck. This is


especially relevant in India. From traffic jams to getting that job you


deserve, sometimes things take so long that you don’t know if you chose


the right goal. After books, I set the goal of writing for Bollywood, as


I thought they needed writers. I am called extremely lucky, but it took


me five years to get close to  a release. Frustration saps excitement,


and turns your initial energy into something negative, making you a


bitter person. How did I deal with it? A realistic assessment of the


time involved movies take a long time to make even though they are


watched quickly, seeking a certain enjoyment in the process rather than


the end result at least I was learning how to write scripts, having a


side plan I had my third book to write and even something as simple as


pleasurable distractions in your life  - friends, food, travel can help


you overcome it. Remember, nothing is to be taken seriously. Frustration


is a sign somewhere, you took it too seriously.

Unfairness - this is hardest to deal with, but unfortunately that is


how our country works. People with connections, rich dads, beautiful


faces, pedigree find it easier to make it not just in Bollywood, but


everywhere. And sometimes it is just plain luck. There are so few


opportunities in India, so many stars need to be aligned for you to make


it happen. Merit and hard work is not always linked to achievement in


the short term, but the long term correlation is high, and ultimately


things do work out. But realize, there will be some people luckier than


you. In fact, to have an opportunity to go to college and understand


this speech in English means you are pretty damm lucky by Indian


standards. Let’s be grateful for what we have and get the strength to


accept what we don’t. I have so much love from my readers that other


writers cannot even imagine it. However, I don’t get literary praise.


It’s ok. I don’t look like Aishwarya Rai, but I have two boys who I


think are more beautiful than her. It’s ok. Don’t let unfairness kill


your spark.

Finally, the last point that can kill your spark is isolation. As you


grow older you will realize you are unique. When you are little, all


kids want Ice cream and Spiderman. As you grow older to college, you


still are a lot like your friends. But ten years later and you realize


you are unique. What you want, what you believe in, what makes you feel,


may be different from even the people closest to you. This can create


conflict as your goals may not match with others. . And you may drop


some of them. Basketball captains in college invariably stop playing


basketball by the time they have their second child. They give up


something that meant so much to them. They do it for their family. But


in doing that, the spark dies. Never, ever make that compromise. Love


yourself first, and then others.

There you go. I’ve told you the four thunderstorms - disappointment,


frustration, unfairness and isolation. You cannot avoid them, as like


the monsoon they will come into your life at regular intervals. You just


need to keep the raincoat handy to not let the spark die.

I welcome you again to the most wonderful  years of your life. If


someone gave me the choice to go back in time, I will surely choose


college. But I also hope that ten years later as well, your eyes will


shine the same way as they do today. That you will Keep the Spark alive,


not only through college, but through the next 2,500 weekends. And I


hope not just you, but my whole country will keep that spark alive, as


we really need it now more than any moment in history. And there is


something cool about saying - I come from the land of a billion sparks.


Thank You.

“””””

I just Loved it !

I got a job in Yahoo!

Thanks everyone for wishing and helping for me.  In fact the whole job getting thing hasn’t sunk in yet.


Some of the messages like ” Good luck , Little one “, “Dude all the best , dont worry abt results and give the best shot’ and ” dei u will clear , do it nice ” , still rings in me

PS: Special thanks to all my wing mates who took extra care that I get enough bumps

All incidents and people in the story are real.

4.00 am:

Karthi wakes up for a midnight leak. Comes out of his room and turns right once , left on… Wait!!!  did he see something in his right. Turns back and looks again. Some one with a strange dress is standing outside a few rooms away from his room holding the door tight.Karthi is a bit scared. Karthi moves reluctantly near the person and finally he finds out who the person is !

karthi : Dei neeeyaa ??? innum thoongala ? ( hey its you ?? havent slept yet ? )

person :saniyane, thoongitu thaaan da irunthen ( I was sleeping only)

karthi: (bemused , irritated) approm ippa enna pannitu irruka ? ( what the f*** are you doing now then ? )

person: room kulla oru maadu irruku da! i got scared and came outside.

karthi:( shocked to hear such a reply ,) dei monna naaye, nee thookatula olarathukku naan thaan kedachena ? poi olunga thoongu da ( WTF ???  a$$ hole , u are sleep walking, go sleep).

person: Dei please help da, i slept at 3 only, help me get the cow outside. i want to sleep

karthi: (strikes head five time saying ayyo ayyo and goes to finish what he woke up for)

The poor person waits  outside the room for some time , reality still finding a tough time to sink in and finally after 5 min and once he got convinced he had been dreaming/sleep walking , he still carefully opens the door, checks if there is a cow in the room and then goes to sleep like a baby

10:30 am

karthi: dei , un roomla maadu eppdi da irruku ? (how is the cow in ur room ? )

person: what non sense ? I am in first floor and how the heck can a cow climb up here ? have u been dreaming ???

karthi: dei @#!$$^%$^&%*&*(&^&***^&%

( the surrounding crowd mockingly beats up the person )

End of another of the crazy days for the person

PS : person = suren  = myself