The Dawn

Posted by Shanky as Experience, Life, Parents, Suicide, Temple, dawn, die, elephant god, faith, people, rockfort, trichy

The night is darkest just before the dawn. And I promise you…the dawn is coming. — From “The Dark Knight”

Here is a story that I conceptualised during college days. I wrote it only now, inspired by the above line.

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He was dejected. From any angle that he looked into his life, it was a failure. Personal, professional, everything. It has been haunting him for the past few months. His father’s angy scowls did not help much. Constant words of discouragement were hurting his soul. He wanted to relieve his soul from the pain. He wanted to get rid of this misery that he is undergoing. It was too much to bear for the 22 year old heart that has been pumping extra blood everytime he thought about his failures. He decided to rest. Not just his body but his entire soul. He resorted to “that” decision which makes head lines during public exam results. “That” decision which can stir legal debates of whether it is legal or not. “That” decision that we all better know as suicide. He decided the rock fort temple top. One last visit to the god on whom he had so much of faith. Who, he thought, to be the only resort and saviour. The one person who he always believed and looked upto. Then he will show his god what he has done to his devotee.



He took the bus from trichy central bus stand to chattram bus stand. Reflecting all along what has happened in his life that he is now dying to die. He was not a very bright student at school. Still everyone liked him. No teacher at school would tell that he was bad. Every one liked him, though they made fun of him, his actions, his marks. But they liked him as a human being. He joined a very mediocre engineering college. He graduated! Boy was he happy on that day! He smiled to himself reminiscently. Those were the best days of his wretched life. He waded through the even more wretched world. All was well till then. Just then, everything turned topsy turvy. The disturbances were sudden and big just like any other natural phenomenon. Got himself hooked to pan, alcohol… and you know the list. But still, deep inside he was the same. He was the same likeable boy next door with no frills.



The bus halted and the conductor broke his reverie. He got down and walked towards the ever busy streets of Main Gaurd gate. He has come here earlier as well. He was as happy as any one in that crowd. He loved this place and would rate it the best in the world. Everyone seem to be happy. From the kid with the ice cream to the lady with the big shoppers bag to the uncle with an empty purse. Some had something and were happy. Some had nothing and they were happy too. That is exactly why this was his refuge when he feels low. He used to come here hoping that at least a pinch of that happiness will forever be etched in him. Hoping that happiness will be transferred to his pocket like how mom transfers money to his account. Just like that! And it did happen one times too many, strenghthening his hope by the day.



But today was different. He had decided. Only the action remained. He knew, today too, he will not be let down by main gaurd gate. He will be happy forever. He will not be able to feel it. But he knew or rather he felt that which could not be felt will be there. He climbed the steps with the same enthusiasm and rigor with which he climbed them, racing against his sister, several years ago. He stopped. Caught some breath. Climbed. This continued till he reached his favourite spot, just behind where the elephant god was sitting. He leaned over the railing and thought “not yet”. he wanted to enjoy as much as he could. After all this is going to be his last day of his wretched life on this wretched earth with his wretched dad. he held his face to the gentle breeze. Stood over the railing and spread his arms like an eagle. Just then, he started thinking for the first time that day. Well, he started to think rationally for the first time that day.



He climbed down from the railing and stared at the ground below. The entire stretch of Trichy was in his view now. He felt excited. He was thinking about what others will be experiencing right at this moment. Right now! When he was going to end his life. At this moment when he is going to experience death. Pat came the reply from his mind. There is a would-be mother undergoing labour pain.There is a mother who has delivered. There is a mother crying for a mis-carriage. There is a baby born at Sea Horse hospital. A happy father is distributing sweets at the hospital. A father beaming with pride at the principal’s office for his child’s admission. A happy kid after he got the ice-cream he wanted. A contented father praising his son. A disgruntled father scolding his son. A teacher punishing his student. A student walking out of college. A job-treat at banana leaf. A booze-party at the hostel terrace. A couple at kallanai, finger-locked and heads together. A fisherman with his catch for the evening, returning home. Workers returning tired after a hard-day’s work. A marriage reception at Maya’s. A bride being sent off to her in-laws place. A painful accident near mukkombu. An ecstatic festival at srirangam and the list went on… He was astounded by all these experiences. What shocked him the most was that he has not even undergone 10% of what his mind listed right now. And he wanted to end his life pre-maturely!



He came to the entrance. Prayed to the elephant god. Had his favourite paneer soda at the shop near by. And galloped down like a proud race-winning stallion. Vowing to himself to to experience everything in life, to face every challenge, rejoice every moment and live life. To start with, he bought two biscuit packets. One for the begger at the temple and another for the begger’s dog. For some reason, he felt happy and he knew it was there.



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September 16, 2008 | Filed Under Experience, Life, Parents, Suicide, Temple, dawn, die, elephant god, faith, people, rockfort, trichy | Comments Off