Superhit Muqablech

Posted by muddman as countdown, music

To all the folks who haven’t met me , I have a confession to make : My control over the hindi language is limited to the phrases “Arrey bhaaiyee“,”Mera naam Joker“, “Kuch Kuch Hota Hai“,”Kyunki saans mein kabhi badbhu thi” and ” Please don’t be santusht“, of course ,apart from the Queen’s Hindi words that are oft heard in college : “M&^%&^C&^%& , B%&^%&C^&%&^ , G&, L& (Note: the previous 2 words are to be pronounced the way they are written) , B^S^&^&KE ” etc. And for those who do know me, the above fact would’ve become glaringly evident in the first few nanoseconds of our acquaintance.

So , In case your name appears here in bad light, do not panic… here goes:

Any character spoken about in this post might be fictional. (You can thank me later)

Countdown Begins. Here is a non exhaustive list of possible genres that Hindi music can be classified into.

(I lack organisational skills, I have not figured out how many categories will appear in this Countdown , so I will count down from N to 1 :-)

N. INDI POP

The name says it all. Or should I say it used to. This genre of music refers to the kinds that were played when MTV and Channel V first learnt to play Hindi music ,in the mid 90s. Owing to the limited Inventory and Low differential of No. of Songs with respect to time , the same song would be repeated a minimum of 3 times a day ( For all those who came to this site searching for “Himmesh pics” or “Bappi Da Great“, the last line implies a minimum of 4 telecasts a day .. thats 1 + 3 repeats. OK? ).

The list of artists usually included in this genre are :

Falguni Pathak ( One takes a long time to figure out if it is a male or a female. Great female voice , but who knows , may be he’s just faking it. So lets just call it it. )

Hans Raj Hans( Greatly influenced by the Punjabi translations of works by a certain Hans Christian Andersen . He has also made Solo performances in a few Star Wars movies :) :) :)

Adnan Sami (A piano Prodigy. And a shining example to disprove the old adage “Play Piano, lose Weight“. And Btw ,Riddle time : If Adnan Sami was a South Indian middle aged woman, what would his name be???

Ans. Adnan Maami :):)

Many one hit wonders such as Agosh, Aryans, Anaida, Anamika, Mika, etc. (No, not all of them kissed Raakhi Sawant….as far as we know it ie.)

But the killer of them all, the man who could probably be called the father of Indi-pop , ( with a song called “Thanda Thanda Paani” that was dangerously similar to “Ice Ice Baby” by Vanilla Ice, which in turn is a direct flick from “Under Pressure” by Queen),the king of originals ,Baba Sehgal.

B.S (for short :) is the quintessential Indian rapist wrapper rapper. He has won the hearts of many a Baba Sehgal fan.

But there has been a lot of speculation about his name. Why Baba Sehgal.? The speculation stems from the fact that he does not resemble most of the Baba’s known to man. For instance, as is evident from the pictures, he does not resemble Baba Amte or Homi Bhabha or Ali Baba or the Baba mudra or even Baba black sheep.

Note : After years of scientific studyon this chosen nomenclature, it was arrived at that his physiognomically closest relatives are Sathya Sai Baba and the Seagull.

To be continued

Popularity: 2%



October 12, 2008 | Filed Under countdown, music | Comments Off 

Muqablech : Part Deux

Posted by muddman as countdown, music, piss offs

In case you are not a regular reader of this blog, this is a continuation of Superhit Muqablech, and, I hate you.

N-1 . INDI “well, very much“, ” among the amit_123s and kids of ages 15-16 extremely” POP

Yes, we are talking about India’s answer to 50 Cent - Inde Cent. Item numbers in the rest of this post will refer to this genre, as opposed to what the counter boy enters into his device to obtain the price of an item.

This genre is not new. Meaning it is old. Meaning, ye ol parents and uncles and irritating aunts shant criticize my generation.(This is where Sachin puts his arm around me and says ” Our generation “, but I cut him short and say ” You wish!”).

Mr. HighlyCriticalAndAtTheSameTimeIncrediblyPissingOffUncle ( HCAATSTIPOU for short ):”Why do you say that is it not new?? Me thought Shilpa Shetty was the first one to be called an Item girl after that song from Shool? The kids these days, pah pah pah ! Abhishtu.“.

Mr. HighlyIntellectualChickMagnet ( Mudd for short) : ” I appreciate the general knowledge sir (restecp ! ). But just try and remember the days of your youth (yes, difficult,i agree), the movies that came out , remember ” Caravan ” or “Sholay” or “Namak Halal”? Helen, Parveen Babi??”

HCAATSTIPOU : ” Yes, vaguely.” ( read: Duh dude, but I just don’t want to accept it because I know where you’re getting at and my argument would be compromised if I did)

Mudd: ” yes, you called them Cabaret performances and ‘fast forward songs‘ (a song which when appears from tape provokes an urge to press the >> button when family is around), but in essence there were skimpily clad women shaking booty (which is an approximate version of Wikipedia’s definiton of Item Number). AND YOU WATCHED IT - REPEATEDLY”

Yes, it is old. But the term has now come to mean a larger range of songs : “The term ‘item number‘ has now been relaxed to include almost all upbeat dance numbers involving either a woman in skimpy clothing, or a “guest appearance” from a star who is only in the movie for the length of that song” (a wikiquote)

Even mainstream actresses and actors ( blech ! ) do Item Numbers. Or should I say the ladies who have done item numbers have gone on to become mainstream actresses. Eitherways, the genre has come and will stay on until Bollywood has some laws against bad music and limited clothing, which by recent trend, I do not see happening.

Just to make this post more appealing ( read: To appear on google’s search results for hot Raakhi Sawant Pics ( usually 0 results) or I like booty) , here are the leading ladies of this genre, I mean the videos. ( I do not know who sings for them, and frankly, few care)

Not too sure about the last guy, but I have definitely seen him in many such songs.

Note: The neck downs of these images are intended only for mature audiences. Knowing my readers inside out, I cropped them.

P.S : Not all item numbers are bad songs.

Popularity: 2%



October 12, 2008 | Filed Under countdown, music, piss offs | Comments Off 

Posted by muddman as Uncategorized


For more widgets please visit www.yourminis.com

Popularity: 3%



June 13, 2008 | Filed Under Uncategorized | Comments Off